You Never Said Goodbye
by Literati Boy
Summary: In a turn-about of roles, Rory decides to find Jess, though the exact reason eludes her. When she does find him, however, things are not as she expected. (Literati)
1. Reminisce the Moonlight

**Title:** You Never Said Goodbye

**Chapter: **1 - Reminisce the Moonlight

**Comments: **Well, there's a sort of funny story behind this. I was really stressed, see, training for my competition (PC Repair, cause I'm a geek), and the idea for this fic just popped into my head. I think I finished this chapter in about an hour or so. So...Yeah. Review if you want more. Also, seems to hate my formatting, so it may seem a tad off. Try to ignore it!

**Special Thanks:** I just have to stress how awesome **Christie** is for betaing this for me. I came to her this morning disheveled and crazy, demanding that she beta, and she performed beautifully (and caught some mistakes that may have decided the good/bad factor of this fic).

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_It wasn't long after she'd taken a seat on the bus. In fact, it had been only seconds. But there he was, clear as day, outside of her window. She saw his lips moving, but couldn't hear what he was saying. Shaking her head a bit, she opened the window and peeked her head out a bit, her eyes questioning._

_"What?"_

_"I said, why did you come here?"_

_"Well…"_

_"I mean, you ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it?"_

What do I say to that?_ she had thought._

_"Because you didn't say goodbye," she heard herself say._

_"Oh. Bye, Rory."_

_"Bye, Jess.__"__  
_

Night had befallen the sky many hours ago. A light drizzle was misting down from the clouds above, the stars all but blotted out. The grass on the lawns smelled fresh in the spring air, the scent enhanced only by the rain in the air. Every now and then, a cricket would chirp happily, contentedly, and a dog might bark in response, the sound faint from distance. Few cars passed by – after all, it was one in the morning – but still, every so often a car would make it's way down the road, the lights illuminating the many houses that stood tall in the dark night.

From the center of one of the many lawns came a rustling. Despite the late hour and the weather, a lone figure rested on the lawn, her back against the grass, her clothes wet from long exposure to the drizzle. The girl's hair gleamed whenever a light of any sort passed over it, droplets of cool water clinging to the brown locks that framed her pale face. With an expelled breath, one cream-white eyelid opened to reveal a deep blue eye, then quickly shut as the surface of the eye came into contact with the falling mist.

Sitting up, the girl opened her eyes. It hadn't been raining when she'd come out, no more than a few hours ago. She'd been so lost in thought that the sudden arrival of a calm spring sprinkle hadn't been enough to jar her from her memories.

With a loud, wide-mouthed yawn, she stretched. _I really should get back inside,_ she thought, _If mom wakes up and sees my bed empty, she'll definitely overreact and wake Luke._ And despite the fact that said situation would be mildly to extremely hilarious, she knew that it wouldn't go over well. So, she stood, brushing herself off as she did so, trying to rid herself of the cut pieces of grass that clung to her pants.

It had been almost nine years since that day in New York, and why she was thinking about it now was a notion lost to her. She had so many more, so many happier, memories of Jess. Not that she wanted to think about him at all, but if she had to choose, she would have chosen to remembered the day he'd bought her picnic basket, or the day he'd looked up the distance from Stars Hollow to Yale. That was the day that she'd thought for sure he meant to stay, both with her and in Stars Hollow.

Oh, how wrong she'd been.

Sighing in a wistful way, she turned around and slowly walked along the grass, which flattened softly under her bare feet, and up the front porch of the Gilmore residence, her feet leaving wet footprints on the wood planks. Trying to be as quiet as she could, she opened the front door and slipped inside, then let it click shut behind her. She peeked up the stairs, listening intently, and when she heard the telltale sound of Luke snoring, she deemed it safe to continue and started toward her room.

"And just where were you, young lady?"

Rory jumped at the voice, which came from the general vicinity of the kitchen table. Turning around slowly, she flipped on a light, only to be met with the smirking face of Lorelai, her mother.

"I was just…outside." She fiddled with her sleeves nervously as she said this, as if loathing the coming question.

"And what were you doing outside?" Lorelai asked, her eyes taking in Rory's grass-covered pants and slightly wet hair. "Looks to me like you were using our lawn for impure purposes."

Rory flushed a bit, and she gave her mom a bit of a glare. "Okay," she said, "first off: dirty!" She stopped to allow her mother a small snicker before continuing. "Secondly, I'll have you know that my actions were completely pure and innocent. I...I needed some time to think, and I kinda fell asleep. And then it started to rain."

Lorelai's expression showed her disbelief, but she skillfully hid it behind an overlarge cup of coffee. She spluttered a bit into her cup when Rory decided to ask her question.

"And just what are _you_ doing down here?"

Lorelai coughed a bit on her choked-up coffee and took a moment to gather her wits before replying.

"What do you mean? Can't you see I'm enjoying my ritualistic 1 AM cup of coffee? That I drink every night? At 1 AM?"

Rory snorted. "Mom," she said gently, "you haven't been up this late, or early depending on how you look at it, in a very, very long time. I'd say since you were 35 or so."

"Gah! Knife in the gut! Did you have to remind me how old I am?"

"Yep."

"Evil."

"I know."

They were silent for awhile after that, the quiet of the night filling the softly lit kitchen. Lorelai took to swirling her coffee around in her cup, biting her lip thoughtfully, while Rory attempted to find something interesting about the floor tiles. Not surprisingly, she found little success in that endeavor.

"So…," said Lorelai softly.

"Yeah…," came Rory's reply.

"California, eh?"

"Yeah…I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow." Rory gave a small smile at this, hoping to reassure her mother yet again that she was ready for this. That this was what she wanted.

"I can't believe you're leaving at all," said Lorelai sadly. She kept her gaze leveled at the coffee cup as she mumbled, "I guess I kinda nurtured the thought that you would live here forever."

Rory frowned a bit at that and took a few steps toward the table. She pulled out one of the chairs and scooted it closer to her mother before sitting down and taking the older woman's hand.

"C'mon mom, you knew all along that I'd leave you someday."

"Yeah, I guess…I think I just kept mentally pushing it ahead until the concept just seemed invisible."

"It's not like I'll be gone forever, you know," Rory reassured her gently, "It's only temporary. You know, like…a few months or so. Maybe four or five."

"I know. I just…Well, I can't believe you're actually going through with it, for one. I mean, there are better things around here, closer to home." Lorelai looked to be on the verge of pouting, which was understandable. It was common Stars Hollow knowledge that Lorelai and Lorelai were two of a kind, and not just because of the naming situation. They were closer than best friends, they were each other's support, each other's shoulder, whatever you want to call it.

"Look, mom, we've been over this a million times," Rory said, a bit of her annoyance showing through, "and I've told you, I don't want what 'around here' has to offer."

Lorelai nodded. It was obvious that this was what Rory had her heart set on, and due to her oath to never be like her own mother, she wasn't going to do anything about it.

"Now," Rory continued, "I need to be up early tomorrow, so I'm going to head to bed." And with that, she kissed her mother's forehead and stood, making her way toward her door.

"Luke kicked me out," Lorelai said, a touch of humor on her voice.

Rory stopped in mid-step. "Wait, what? Did I miss something?"

"You wanted to know what I was doing down here. Luke kicked me out of the room. He complained that I snore too much."

Rory giggled openly at that thought. "Maybe you should plant a tape recorder in there tonight," she suggested between chuckles, "it'd be an eye opener for him, for sure."

Lorelai smiled weakly. "Maybe I will."

Rory nodded, still smiling, and started to open her door.

"Hey, Rory?" her mother said, her voice cautious.

"Yeah, mom?"

"Why are you going? Why do you want to find him so much?"

Rory smiled sadly.

"He never said goodbye."

**Author's Note:** I tried as hard as I could to be all vague and mysterious in this chapter concerning what's going on, though I made sure that some things were obvious, such as her reason for going to California. There'll be a bit more revealed next chapter, and some background will be laid out. Umm...That's all for now!


	2. Memories

**Title:** You Never Said Goodbye

**Chapter:** 2 - Memories

**Special Thanks:** Despite the fact that this chapter goes unbeta-ed, I'd like to give thanks to the Lits of for giving me inspiration to write, which is so hard for me to come by these days. You guys rock!

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**Beep.**

From beneath a pile of wrinkled covers, one eye peeked out.

**Beep. Beep.**

Next came an arm, the bicep covered by a well worn tee-shirt sleeve. The now uncovered appendage fumbled around wildly, going in every which direction as it simultaneously attempted to coordinate itself and find the bedside table.

**Beepbeepbeepbeep.**

The noise was becoming too much for a sane mind to bear. The flailing arm immediately gave up it's search for the source of the offending noise and instead went to uncover it's owner, a dark haired, bleary eyed, slightly thin young man. He opened his other eye, blinking a few times to rid himself of the last clinging remnants of sleep (and to fight the morning rays of sun), and then turned his attention to the clock. The damned alarm clock. The damned alarm clock that Jimmy had conned him into buying.

Yes. This was all Jimmy's fault.

Sighing in annoyance, the young man performed his daily ritual of picking the beeping clock up off of the table, looking at it curiously, weighing it in his hand, and then tossing it against the wall, effectively ending it's tirade of beeping. Nodding in sleepy satisfaction, he smoothed his hair a bit, then laid back down, his descent resembling that of a rock falling from a cliff.

Sleep was impossible now. He'd been woken up, he'd been sufficiently annoyed, and now any possibility of further sleep was taken away from him. Today was going to suck, he decided. Sighing once again, he sat up, his tired eyes taking in his room in the early morning sunlight. Dark blue curtains hung from simple gold hangers above his two windows. The sunlight that did not enter through the cracks between the shades was an interesting shade, made blue from the filtering effect of the shades.

This blue light fell onto the many books strewn about his room. So many books that even three shelves was not enough to hold them. He had books of every kind – romance, fantasy, philosophy, adventure. You name it, this man, Jess Mariano, probably had it.

Shoving the thin blanket off of him, Jess stood, stretching as he did so. The joints in his arms and legs cracked loudly as he did so, protesting their early awakening.

"What time 'sit?" he wondered aloud, mumbling the words.

"It's about 8:30," came an unexpected response.

"Whoa!" Jess exclaimed, finally fully awake at this surprise guest.

Her head peeking in the doorway, his step-sister gave him a bit of a smirk. "You're late for work; Jimmy'll be pissed."

Jess's head snapped toward his clock, which was surprisingly not where it should be. Of course. He'd thrown it.

Damn Jimmy. It was all his fault that he was late for work. If he hadn't forced him to buy that clock, it never would have beeped, and he never would have thrown it, and then he wouldn't be standing in the middle of his room trying to find more ways to lay the blame on Jimmy.

Damn Jimmy.

"Are you just gonna stand there all day?" Lily asked, pushing her glasses up to rest on the bridge of her nose; they tended to slide down every now and then, which led Jess to believe that her head was shrinking.

Jess looked up, startled to see that she was still there. And then he remembered he was late for work.

"Shit," he mumbled as he moved toward his closet.

Nodding in satisfaction, Lily closed the door and let her brother get dressed, as she certainly didn't want to watch him while he did so. In her mind, naked + Jess ick.

Simple math, really.

Tossing clothes everywhere, Jess attempted to find a clean pair of pants among the pig sty that was his closet. A shirt landed on his lamp, a pair of green swim trunks hit his stereo, knocking some CDs over with a clutter. A clump of socks flew off in many directions, one striking a picture and knocking it to the floor, face down.

Finally, a few minutes later, he emerged from the din with a pair of jeans clenched in his fist. Success. Changing quickly, he looked around the room to make sure he had everything he needed. He grabbed his wallet and stuffed it into his left back pocket, designated his "wallet pocket". In his right back pocket, he inserted his current reading project, _The Guardian_. Ah, Nicholas Sparks, his guilty pleasure.

Nodding, he deemed everything in order, and started to make his way from the room. He reached for the door knob, and suddenly his hand froze. Mumbling something under his breath, he quickly strode over to his dresser, namely the picture that resided on the floor, and picked it up. He looked at it for a moment, the look in his eyes far away.

_"Look, could we sit down?"_

_"No. You wanted to talk, so talk." Her voice had a tinge of annoyance, her eyes held no emotion other than anger. She wasn't ready to hear what he had to say._

_He paused for a moment, his breath coming out in waves of mist, before finally saying, "I love you."_

_She stood, shocked, her blue eyes searching his face. He must be lying, he must be trying to confuse her, a million "must be"s floated around in her mind as he backed away slowly, opened his car door, got in, and drove off, leaving her behind. For good, this time_.

He closed his eyes against the memory. The picture was older, from her first year of Yale. Her hair was shorter than when he'd lived there, the length it had been on that night. He liked her hair like that. It suited her.

His face hardened a bit. Why had Luke sent him this picture? He must have known the torment it would cause him. Maybe he'd done it as a bid to get him to come back…Maybe he'd used Rory as bait.

No…Luke wouldn't do that.

Jess sighed and set the picture back into it's rightful place. He was still a fool for that girl, and though he hadn't told Jimmy or Sasha, or even Lily, about Rory, they'd guessed that the mysterious girl who occupied his dressertop must have had something to do with his past.

Turning, he quickly left his room, shutting the door with a slam.

The picture teetered and fell.

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He was almost an hour late to the stand when he arrived, and the sun was already boiling the sands of the nearby beach. The drab buildings that made up the boardwalk were opening their doors and your average burnout teenagers were already starting to prowl the streets in search of something to occupy themselves on yet another boring summer day.

Perfect for business, Jimmy would say.

"You're late," came his father's voice from behind the counter.

"Yeah," Jess replied, "I know. I overslept."

There was a rustle, and Jimmy stood up from his crouching position. "You overslept eh?" He made a sort of laughing sound, disbelief etched across his face. "You never oversleep. Are you sick or something? Maybe you should go home for the day."

Jess cocked his head at the man. "Done trying to be fatherly?" Jimmy looked a little sheepish and nodded. Jess wouldn't have even bothered showing up if he wasn't feeling good.

Jess nodded in satisfaction and said, "I had a bad dream or two…So I didn't sleep well."

Jimmy looked sharply at his son. It certainly wasn't like Jess to admit to something as silly as bad dreams, certainly not to him. "Well," he said, obviously uncomfortable, "fine, then."

Jess stepped forward and looked around behind the counter.

"I see you're done stocking…Do you need anything else done?"

Jimmy thought for a moment, the skin on his forehead creasing a bit, and he slowly shook his head. "Nah, I think it's all set. Just wait around till the rush sets in."

Jess glanced quickly at his watch. 9 AM sharp. The rush would start in an hour or so.

"Alright," he said, pulling his book out and flipping it open to his mark, "Just yell if you need something, alright?"

"Alright," Jimmy replied, turning to go in back. He stopped, though, and turned his head to glance at Jess, "Have you heard from your mother lately?"

Jess gave his father a cold stare and simply stated, "No."

Jimmy nodded, sensing that this was unstable ground, and pushed the curtain aside, heading into the back.

Jess sighed, bit his lip in thought, then turned back to his book.

'I think I'll call Luke tonight,' he thought calmly, 'It's been awhile since I've checked in to see how everyone's doing.' _How Rory's doing_, said a little voice in the back of my head.

Jess mentally murdered said voice and happily went back to his book.

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**Author's Note: **Wow. Another chapter in the same day. This is so very unlike me. However, with the school week about to start, updates will probably once every three to four days from now on. If you don't like it, tough. ;)


	3. Hot, Wild Phone Sex and Abandonment Issu...

**Title:** You Never Said Goobye

**Chapter:** 3 - Hot, Wild Phone Sex and Abandonment Issues

**Comments: **Soooo sorry that I took such a long time getting this chapter out. I wasn't sure how I wanted to go about it, and I'm not too happy with how it came out. Granted, the original draft was much worse...In fact, I might just go format the disk that it was on (again!) to make sure it's never discovered.

* * *

"Are you sure you have everything?" 

"Yes, mom, for the last time, I've got it all. All two suitcases and my one duffle bag. It's all there."

"Well, maybe you should go and check one more time…"

With a sigh, Rory rolled her eyes and pushed stray lock of hair out of her face. "Mom," she said firmly, grabbing her mother's shoulders, "I've got everything. I don't need to go check again. If I do, I'll be even more late than I already am."

Lorelai, silenced, nodded, her face etched with sadness. They were standing in the driveway of the Gilmore house, and it was, as Lorelai said, 'earlier than any human should be awake to experience'. In truth, it was only about six AM, and the sun was just beginning to rise, bathing the lawn and driveway in shadows.

Luke, still wearing pajamas, stood next to Lorelai and had his arm around her shoulders. She latched onto him dramatically and pretended to sob uncontrollably into his chest. "Oh Luke!" she wailed, "My baby is abandoning me! She's going to leave me behind and forget about me and I'll be alone and lonely for the rest of my life!"

Luke, looking slightly amused at his wife's antics, said, "Well gee. Looks like you've already forgotten that I'll be around then? Maybe I'll go with Rory, then. I'm sure she wouldn't mind a little bit of company."

Lorelai looked up at him and playfully smacked him on the arm. "The ultimate abandonment!" she exclaimed as she crossed her arms huffily, "My daughter _and_ my husband are going to let me waste away!"

With a roll of his eyes, Luke put his arm around Lorelai's waist and started to lead her away. "Come on, Lorelai; let's let Rory get out of here."

"Oh, fine," Lorelai said sullenly. She hugged Rory tightly and kissed her forehead. "You have fun out there, okay? You go and have a great time, and meet people, and find the love of your life, and all that fun stuff. But…when it's all over, come back here, okay?"

Rory nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and hugged her mother once more. "Don't worry, I couldn't stay away from Stars Hollow for too long. Life would be too boring!"

Lorelai smiled around her own tears and nodded. With a final hug, she stepped away and let Luke lead her back to the house. Once they were inside, Rory took a deep breath and glanced down at her watch.

"Gah!" she exclaimed as she hurried to the other side of her car and got in, "I'm gonna miss my flight!

And with that, she hastily started the vehicle and peeled out of the driveway and down the road.

* * *

The phone was ringing. 

Jess glanced up at it in annoyance, occasionally considering going to get it.

"Jess!" came his father's voice from the bathroom.

"What!" he replied over the sound of the phone.

"Can you get that?"

Jess smirked. "No, I'm afraid I can't!"

Jimmy stuck his head out from the bathroom. "And why can't you?" he demanded.

"Well," Jess started, "I haven't quite come up with an excuse yet. When I do come up with a suitably witty reason, I'll be sure to tell you."

Jimmy rolled his eyes and went back into the bathroom. "Get the phone," he said, "or else I'm cooking dinner tonight."

With a look of fear, Jess scrambled toward the still-ringing phone and picked it up. Anything was worth avoiding Jimmy's cooking.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver.

"Good morning, oh nephew of mine," came a dry voice on the other side.

"Ah," Jess said in a pensive sort of way, "Dear old Uncle Luke. I was wondering when you'd give me a call. It's been awhile…I was beginning to think you'd died." Despite his choice of words, it was quite obvious that Jess was happy to hear from Luke.

"Trust me, if I'd died, you would have known. In fact, I would place money on Taylor calling you to accuse you of being the cause." Even over the phone, Jess could tell that Luke was smirking. It was a running joke between them that if Luke ever died, Taylor would immediately blame Jess.

"Ah, that's right. I shouldn't have been worried, then."

He heard Luke chuckle before he said, "Nope. You'll know about it when it happens. Till then, you can keep hoping, right?"

Jess grinned. "Why Uncle Luke, I can't believe you just said that."

"Yeah, well, I'm in a joking sort of mood. Anyway, I…uh…called for a reason."

Jess sat back on the couch that he was occupying, intrigued. "Oh? Do tell."

"Well…Liz called me, and we got to talking about you."

"Joyous day."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Anyway, she wanted to know if you were…y'know…seeing anyone?"

"Well…I happen to see quite a few people. Mostly customers, you see, but every now and then I see Jimmy or the mail man."

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm serious here! I've been wondering the same thing."

"No, Uncle Luke," Jess said, rolling his eyes, "I'm not seeing anyone. Why would Liz wanna know about that anyway? She could have called me and asked me, either way."

Luke's tone of voice suddenly grew uncomfortable. "Yeah, well, you know…I just…uh…was wondering too. Yeah. So I volunteered to call and ask."

"Huh."

"We just wanna know what's going on in your life, is all."

"Huh."

"Well…I'm gonna go…Lunch rush and all."

"Alright. That sounds like fun. Give Kirk all my best."

"I will," Luke said with a snicker, "Lorelai sends her love."

"You made that up."

"Yeah…Guilty as charged."

"Bye, Luke."

"Bye."

As Jess hung up the phone, Jimmy stepped out of his bedroom, fully clothed and drying his hair with a towel.

"Who was that?" He asked as he went into the kitchen.

"Luke," Jess said simply.

"Oh yeah? What did he want?"

Jess rolled his eyes. "He wanted to have hot and wild phone sex with me."

Jimmy came back in and playfully whacked Jess on the shoulder. "What did he really want?"

Jess shrugged. "He wanted to know if I was seeing anyone. Said Liz wanted to know the same thing." He looked up a Jimmy, a smirk on his face. "I think he's up to something. What it is, I'm not quite sure of yet."

Jimmy sat across from him. "Well, I'd be wary all the same. Luke can be quite a devious man."

Jess snorted as if to say, 'right, in what universe?' but he stayed quiet. After a moment, he leaned against the arm of the couch and picked up a book. "What are you planning to do today?" he asked Jimmy.

"Well," he said, "since Sasha and I both have the day off, I thought I'd take her out for the day. You know, maybe the mall or something. Or maybe an amusement park, since Lily's at school. Do it to spite her, you know?"

Jess chuckled and flipped the book open. "You, Jimmy Mariano, are a terrible person."

Jimmy nodded and buffed his nails against his shirt. "I know I am. But I can't help it, you know? My evil nature just calls to me."

Sasha, Jimmy's wife, chose that moment to step out of the bedroom, drying her hair as well. She had a fresh set of clothes on and looked like she'd just gotten out of the shower.

"Wait a minute," Jess said, "I didn't hear the shower turn on a second time." He looked from Jimmy to Sasha suspiciously, and they both hid their faces.

"Oh. Ew."

Jimmy laughed out loud and Sasha smacked him lightly. "You told me he was still in bed, Jimmy." She said admonishingly. Jimmy shrugged and said, "Hey, I did what it took."

"You blatantly lied to me."

"It got you in the shower with me."

"Oh, so you decided that the best way to do so would be to tell me that there was no way he'd find out and that he was still fast asleep."

Jess looked at Jimmy with an amused expression. "Fast asleep? Me? Jimmy, it's almost noon. Even I don't sleep that long."

Sasha rolled her eyes. "Men," she said incredulously. She looked apologetically toward Jess. "Not you, though," she said, "You're surprisingly non-stereotypical most of the time."

Jess nodded in thanks.

Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Jimmy glanced at his watch. "Well, what do you say we hit the road, Sash?"

Sasha rolled her eyes and mouthed the word 'men' once again, patted Jess's leg in a farewell gesture, then stood and followed Jimmy, who had vacated the room just after his suggestion.

Jess sighed and turned his attention to his book, his expression softening a bit as he started to read.

* * *


End file.
